I was on set with Will Havoc for a secret project (shhhh!) and we had a bit of time to chat during setup. We talked about numerous things (stay tuned for the video on that), but for now, I wanted to share our chat about International Whores' Day tomorrow and the implications of FOSTA/SESTA.
Want to learn more about the legislation? Check out https://survivorsagainstsesta.org.
Therapist Traci Medeiros-Bagan will be doing a webinar next Tuesday (May 22, 2018) called "Dating and Sex After Trauma" through Everyday Feminism. The 90-minute webinar will be recorded live at 1230pm PST and available for download to those who cannot make the live session.
"Trauma can literally change our physiology in ways that make our bodies and brains believe that we are living in the past. It organizes our lives from a place of defense and survival, and relinquishes our right to joy and thriving."
This quote from Traci's workshop summary really resonated with me and I thought about how many of us have experienced trauma in some form or have been in relationship to someone with trauma. The topic of trauma is vast and there are only 90 minutes here, but Traci does a great job giving us a primer on trauma and sharing helpful tools we can use in our lives.
I realize that not everyone might have the financial ability to take this course (FYI: It's $35 online, or receive 15% off if you use coupon code DST384 during checkout), so on behalf of Ikigai Marketing, I'd like to do a giveaway for (1) free membership to Traci's webinar on Tuesday. The membership includes access to the webinar (live or available to watch at a later date, plus some really helpful handouts included with the course).
All you have to do is enter your information below - this is basically so I am able to purchase the membership and forward the login info to you. You won't be added to any mailers or anything (unless you'd like to be) - this is just a small way in which I'd like to offer some resources to my community. <3
THIS CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED! STAY TUNED FOR FUTURE GIVEAWAYS.
Hudsy Hawn's one-woman musical autobiography is heading to the stage THIS SUNDAY at the Colony Theatre in Burbank, CA!
This week we played an excerpt from an original song that'll be in the show, Mr. Perfect.
I vowed at the beginning of 2018 to do 30 days of music where I'd play one song a day. I realized about two weeks into the project that it was a bit short-sighted of me to start it in the middle of the busiest time of my work year.
Then something magical happened, my friend Hudsy Hawn. She breathed some new life into my dorky little passion project and here we are today!
By the way, if you're in LA, be sure to check out Hudsy's one-woman musical memoir, From Vanilla to Kink, playing on April 29th at the Colony Theatre in Burbank, CA. I saw an early version of the show and it blew me away. Hudsy is a damn amazing singer and a force of nature.
To note, I am horrified when I hear 90s rock on the radio on the "oldies" channel.
Last month I was interviewed by Lynsey G. for a piece she was writing for Glamour.com. The finished piece, How Mainstream Porn is Finally Making Room for Trans Performers, features myself, but more importantly, other professionals in our industry. Take a read if you get a chance and thank you so much to Lynsey G for the opportunity.
Just for fun, I decided to document my adventure to the Bad Dragon factory in AZ!
Congratulations to my very talented friend Dave Naz on his upcoming book, Identity: In & Beyond the Binary! I met Dave a few years back and I'm so so honored that he allowed me to be part of this book, not only as a model (I know, crazy, right?) but also as an essayist.
Thank you so much to Dave for this really awesome opportunity and a big congratulations to him on this book! Pick up your copy at the link below!
Identity: In & Beyond The Binary (2017, Rare Bird Books, A Barnacle Book)
signed by: Dave Naz
248 Pages | 5.5 x 8.5″
Essays by: Riley Kilo, Chelsea Poe, Jane Starr, Andre Shakti, Matty Boi, Kelli Lox, Kristel Penn, Kwesi, Michelle Austin
Dave Naz spent eight years photographing transgender, genderqueer, gender variant, and other people from the queer community. He has been documenting lives, poems, and stories from the community in his zine Identity, now collected in this striking book.
2017 XBIZ Trans Performer of the Year Reigns Supreme
by Shawn Alff
It’s easy to see Aubrey Kate now — the modelesque, blonde bombshell — and dismiss her recent awards in the erotic arts as inevitable. It’s easy to say that she was simply born with something other models weren’t, like her photogenic physique and a preternatural ability to hold the camera’s gaze. The story of Kate’s success, however, is no fairytale, but one of a long process of transformation.
Kate grew up in the 1990s in California, splitting her days between attending school in Corona, California, and spending her free time in Laguna Beach. From an early age Kate was aware of her gender dysphoria. She had an insatiable desire for all things pretty and pink: lip gloss, makeup and Barbies. Kate kept her hair in a ponytail and wore her aunt’s high school cheer uniform and gymnastics leotard every day, often under her school clothes.
“A lot of my Southern California family was very supporting and accepting of me,” Kate said, “though I do remember a few fights about letting me play with ‘girl’ toys and playing dress up.”
Outside of school Kate devoted herself to the performing arts.
“Gymnastics and Irish dance were my life growing up,” Kate said. “When I was eight I started performing professionally. I would do a lot of shows at the House of Blues with an Irish band called Fenianian.”
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This is just an excerpt from Shawn Alff's awesome profile on Aubrey Kate in the latest issue of XBIZ! Read more [here].
My official ikigai stickers came in the mail this past week and I'm so stoked to use 'em on small journals to send to my clients (note: there is a surprise on the front page of these journals - shhh!).
Sometimes it helps to write down those ideas, daily affirmations, and goals. Something about seeing these things in print make it seem much more attainable than when they're floating around in your head.
This post is obviously very very late, but I had such a good time at AVN that I didn't want to skip it.
AVN is a marathon. I am an introverted hermit most of the year and then AVN comes around and I have to socialize/network/talk to people for hours upon hours. I also drink more than I have throughout the entire year combined. With a bit of hand sanitizer and some deep breaths thanks to Fran, I survived all of the craziness.
All in all, it was a really busy week. I moderated a really awesome trans panel with Aubrey Kate, Foxxy, Natalie Mars, and Stefani Special at the Joint. I also participated on an interesting panel on being a woman in the industry moderated by one of my all-time favorites, Chauntelle Tibbals, and spoke with some really kick-ass women (Kay Brandt, Bree Mills, and Angela White). Thank you so much to Sharan Street for thinking I was worthy enough to be included on this panel of female all-stars.
Enough blabbing for me. This is really just an excuse to share my pictures :D
I've had a couple of weeks to let the craziness of XBIZ and AVN 2017 finally set in. I had a quiet moment this afternoon where I was able to sift through my photos and I saw one taken of me at XBIZ's 2017 Industry Exec Awards.
See how weird I look in that picture above? I mean, this is a different type of weird rather than my usual weird self. Here, I'm overwhelmed with excitement - in fact, I still can't believe I won. The last time I won something, I'm pretty sure I was still in high school. Thank you to XBIZ and for those who voted for me (on purpose and on accident)! I am floored.
For me, XBIZ marks the beginning of the crazy conference season. It goes XBIZ, then AVN, and then finishing up with the TEAs. Then I sleep for a week. This year was no exception, Dan (Sparky Snakeden) and I were running all week networking, trying to sit-in on workshops, and taking meetings.
We did our usual Trans State of the Union roundtable moderated by Steven Grooby as part of XBIZ's conference. We had so many amazing people from our industry come and contribute to the conversation. As always, it was a very lovely and humbling experience for me.
Anyway! Just wanted to share some of my favorites picture from that week! XBIZ often feels like the first reunion of the year.
I'm so excited to announce the Pajamas, Popcorn, and Porn workshop Traci and I will be presenting next month at Kink.com as part of their educational series!
Our workshop will be on March 11 from 5-730pm at Kink.com's Armory in San Francisco! Purchase your tickets here!
For those interested, here's the official description:
The smorgasbord of internet erotica may leave us intrigued and ready for action, but have you ever wondered what keeps your porn consumption a private party for one?
When examining our identities, interests, and arousal, exploration is often halted by shame and stigma. In this workshop we’ll work to defeat these internal monsters. We’ll move from the repression of silence towards a more liberated and fulfilling format of self-exploration, communication, and interactions.
Call your partner(s), and text your friends! We’ll provide the popcorn and set up a safe and comfortable space to watch and discuss some of our favorite “sexy cinema!” You’ll leave this workshop with a better understanding of the adult industry, your own erotic viewing preferences, and real life tools to bring your sexual viewing preferences into your conversations (in and outside of the bedroom). We’ll also be showing an exclusive clip from Lilith Luxe's REAL FUCKING DOC, which is a unique companion piece to Mona Wales' directorial debut, REAL FUCKING GIRLS, and offers a behind-the-scenes look at how the movie was made from the performers themselves. REAL FUCKING GIRLS recently won at both AVN and XBIZ for Trans Release of the Year.
The first 25 people/couples to register will receive a free copy of REAL FUCKING GIRLS, signed by the director herself, Mona Wales!